


Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Plane, A

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Challenge Response, Episode Tag, Episode: s02e05 And It's Surely to Their Credit, F/M, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2000-12-01
Updated: 2000-12-01
Packaged: 2019-05-15 16:41:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14794178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: My wife and I need to be alone for a little while. I mean, really alone. Completely untraceable, undisturbed, unable to be found.





	Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Plane, A

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Plane

Disclaimer: All characters of "The West Wing" are property of Aaron Sorkin, NBC, et al. No profit is being derived from the use of the characters on the part of the author.

Category: General Characters: Jed/Abby 

Rating: PG-13 (language and implied sexuality) 

Archive: Anytime, anywhere (just let me know where and when and give me credit) 

Summary: Where would be the fun in that? 

Spoilers: This is in response to Rhiannon’s challenge number 1. (Okay, there are hints at "In the Shadow of Two Gunmen II" and "And It’s Surely to Their Credit".)

 

Jed strode purposefully into the First Lady’s office. The head of his detail, Ron Butterfield, was a few steps behind him. Abby’s Chief of Staff tried to head him off, but she never had a chance. Before she could say anything, Jed had entered Abby’s office and shut the door. Ron stood outside and shrugged at Lilly.

Abby was on the phone, but as soon as she saw her husband, she told the caller, "I’ll have to call you back." She stood up and looked warily at Jed. "You’re supposed to be on a plane to New York."

"I know," he answered.

"So what are you doing here?"

He walked over to her desk and leaned forward. "Abby."

"Jed."

"Sex."

"When?"

"Now."

"Where?"

"Here."

"No."

"Upstairs."

"No."

"Why not?"

"They can find us."

"Damn." He began to pace for a minute then his face lit up. He went to the door and called out, "Ron!"

The tall man was through the door in seconds. "Sir? Ma’am," he said, acknowledging Abby’s presence. She nodded in reply.

"Ron," Jed began, "my wife and I need to be alone for a little while. I mean, really alone. Completely untraceable, undisturbed, unable to be found. No phones, no staff. Surely you know of such a place in this massive building where that can happen."

Ron smiled at the President. "Oh yes, sir. I think I do."

 

In the recesses of the White House are many empty and dark hallways and rooms. A half-hour later, Ron found himself in one of those hallways guarding a formerly empty room. He stood silently, ignoring the grunts, snorts, giggles and assorted crashes from inside. He turned when he heard footsteps and saw Leo huffing his way towards him.

"Ron," Leo acknowledged.

"Leo."

"He’s in there?"

"Yes."

"A broom closet?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"The Secret Service does not comment on procedure," Ron deadpanned.

They heard a crash. Leo jumped but Ron stood immobile. "Mr. President?" Leo asked with concern.

"Leo, if Ron isn’t dead and you’re not standing there with a horde of purple chickens holding laser scopes at your skull, you are so fired." Abby giggled.

"I’m sorry, sir, but you’re late for the plane." A groan, more giggles and a resounding thud was heard. "What are you two doing in there?"

At that moment the door opened and Abby appeared, completely unruffled. "Leo," she said sweetly, "if you have to ask, it’s been wa-a-ay too long."

Leo blushed and grinned as Jed walked out, straightening his tie. "I’ll see you later, Sweet Knees."

"Count on it, Pumpkin." She smiled and walked away.

Jed looked his friend in the eye. "I don’t know what’s scarier: the fact that you found me or the fact that you even knew where to look."

They started walking, Ron right behind them. Leo answered, "I know you too well."

"How did you know where to look? The Secret Service didn’t tell you?" Jed asked, casting a backwards glance at Ron.

"Nah, they didn’t have to."

"Oh?"

"New Hampshire. The first weekend you brought Abby home to your folks. You, me, Jenny and Abby. Your parents were upstairs, Jenny and I were in the living room and you and Abby…"

"Never mind." Jed blushed at the memory.

"For the record, sir. What are you going to say when the press asks CJ and she asks why the flight was delayed?"

"How about, ‘A funny thing happened on the way to the plane’?"

 

END

  


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